let's hang out, bay area

some things i wanna do before i go through this next door in life. let me know if you'd like to partake in any of these activities with me. more to be added later.

hiking (anywhere new would be fun)

bike rides
  • sf ferry building to sausalito
  • ironhorse trail
  • bay trail
drink
  • weekday ceja outings
  • anchor brewing tour
art/culture/etc.
  • new exploratorium (adults only on thurs nights for $15)
  • oakland zoo
  • omca (with off the grid on friday nights)
  • sfmoma (before they close for renovation)

i feel it all

my heart wrenches as mom, my aunts, and uncle visit the casket one more time. mom is then the last sibling standing by as the funeral director removes inay's jewelry and places the pieces in her hands. our sobs reach their height as the casket is closed. and it is at that moment my cousin olivia's 2-year old daughter (the youngest member of our entire family) innocently exclaims, "bye, super lola!" and we all manage to laugh through our tears.
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a few months later, many of us are together again...this time shedding tears of joy as my cousin john marries his boyfriend since college. there are few dry eyes in the place...most present at the ceremony have known for a while the sincerity and unselfishness of their love for one another. a nearly perfect celebration of a wonderful couple only tarnished by the absence of my uncle, who refused to come to his own son's wedding.
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these past few months have brought many moments of mixed emotions (hope/grief, happiness/bitterness, excitement/anxiety, etc.). and as opposite as they may be, there has been no denying any of them. no subduing their intensity. no chance of filtering out the good. the only option being to feel it all.

we can work it out

1. we walk down the stairs to the platform of the 16th street bart station. our cousin has dismissed us from her birthday celebration earlier than expected due to the departure of half of the party, too long a wait for a bowling lane, and consideration of our work schedules the next day.

"pittsburg/bay point train in 2 minutes," my brother points out on our right. i look to our left and see, "daly city train in 2 minutes." perfect timing.

as our respective trains approach, we exchange a high five and side hug. small gestures of consolation and comfort to counter the heavy weight of grief in the air this week. we go our opposite directions.

2. buskers begin announcing their performance on the other end of the train car. they are raising funds for some reason or another. as i fiddle with my phone, they start to play a crowd-pleaser. it's the beatles. like many on this train, i've probably heard this song hundreds of times before. but when they get to these lyrics, the words seem to echo in my ears and head...

"life is very short, and there's no time 
for fussing and fighting, my friend"

3. the internet on my phone or nextbus doesn't seem to be working, and so i start my walk home from rockridge bart. i'm stopped in my tracks by something i have never noticed before. four familiar faces in a window with words that remain too true:
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