Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

mayer tuesday


"if i ever get around to living
it's gonna be just like i dreamed
i'm gonna take the love i'm given
and set it free

if i ever get around to living
i'll take the end of everyday
tie it up to every morning
and sail away...

when you gonna wise up boy?

you are hiding in your mind
working all the time
trying to make it better 
than you got it

and you've been spending all your time
searching for a sign
that's never gonna look
the way you want it

think you better wise up boy" 

solidarity

by far one of the most beautiful days in this city

do you know when the bus is coming?

the gentleman asks me as if he knows i just checked for it on my phone. he exudes an aura of warmth and joy: his round bearded face with a subtle smile, bright blue and gold kofia on his head, and a tan tweed blazer decorated with a colorful saxophone pin on the right lapel.

yes, it should be arriving in 5 minutes.

thank you. how are you doing today?

i'm doing ok.

are you happy?


again it seems he has read my mind or perhaps read the pensive look on my face. i let out a short nervous laugh and respond,

i'm trying to be...
are you happy?


yes, i am. i think it is a normal state to be unhappy.
but i try to have my normal state be happiness
because that is what was intended by the Creator.


that's a good way to think about it.

what makes you happy?

oh, i don't know. my family, my friends.

yes, of course...
are you an artist?


no, i'm not an artist.

are you a photographer?


i laugh again wondering how he can sense these things about me.

yes, i like to shoot photos.

oh that is wonderful. what are your subjects?

at 26 + 2 weeks

i still find there is much to gain when you pay attention to children.

kids chalking up the sidewalk in front of MoAD today.

"you can never grow too old for fruit-by-the foot,"
said my 7-year-old god daughter as she ripped me a piece of color by-the-foot last
night

thru the rain

did you know?
michelle sporting this sticker on her back

we were all smiles despite the rain as we walked around golden gate park.

a fellow lupus walker passed us up with her mini boom box blasting "i can see clearly now."

and though it wasn't gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day, it was a great morning to be among good friends for an excellent cause!


team fruit LOOP-US!

i met my fundraising goal and the norcal walk as a whole raised $121,000 for lupus research, advocacy, education and support services.

special thanks to my supporters. sha-shabooya....roll call!
bev
kitty
nicky
leeser
cristal
melissa
vu-dawg

life knocks, life's knocks

so, my little amelie, you don't have bones of glass.
you can take life's knocks.
if you let this chance pass,
eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton.
so, go get him, for pete's sake!
full of life and love from an evening of amelie and a homemade meal of kimchee fried rice and sapporo with two dear friends, i felt compelled to e-mail a kindred soul and advise her to take a risk of the heart since i had not been able to in a similar situation in the past.

of course i could not guarantee how things would turn out. though the assumption was that the best that could happen would be worth the chance.

and she was bold. bolder than i could ever be.

but still she came the tumbling down. i felt horrible. was i wrong in my vicarious recommendation?

after a flurry of consolation e-mails and chats back and forth, i was comforted with the fact that indeed she really was better off. not for having achieved the outcome she wanted, but for not letting the opportunity pass and expressing how she felt at that moment.

simple lesson, long time coming: say what you feel when you feel it.

on a related note: i have been slacking on my blog game. let's fix that.

love love love

"What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."
~fr. pedro arrupe

lost at sea

'cause when the day comes
and i've counted all my sins
how many i'll see
i want to be able to say
that i did more
more than pray

i did more than
just spend my money
just writing letters
just going out marching

did more than
talking
saying the right thing
wearing the right thing
time for uprising

songs in the key of life

if it's magic
then why can't it be everlasting?
like the sun that always shines
like the poets in this rhyme
like the galaxies in time

if it's pleasing
then why can't it be never leaving?
like the day that never fails
like on seashores there are shells
like the time that always tells

bookend encounters

a drizzly february morning.
1st task of the day: purchase snacks for a meeting in sf.
i'm early, and trader joe's is still closed.

alone, i wait, earbuds in, somewhat dazed,
not fully recovered from the spell of sickness
that kept me in bed for half the day before.

8:50am
a man rides up on his bicycle and waits too.
we begin with pleasant small talk,
but the conversation quickly turns
and he starts to vent his
frustrations and anger with
unemployment, hunger, homelessness, authority, life...

our discussion never actually ends.
i don't quite have the right words to say in response.
he trails off and shuffles among the crowd
that is making their way through the store's open doors.

ash wednesday mass that night
i say a little prayer for him.
for better days.
for his peace of mind.
i forget about all this until...


last night.
it's almost 10 o'clock
and i'm just leaving good friday service.

the next bus is in 27 min
so i opt for a less direct route home.

sneaks, jeans, backpack with
hood up over my head
to thwart an unexpected chilly breeze.
i feel like a student again
walking past people's park
reminded of this campus's strange coexistence of
privilege and poverty.

hello. you were sitting next to me at church, right?
yes, i was.

in half a block we exchange niceties & names:
the typical
how do you do?
where are you from?
where are you headed?


then the inevitable
(and these days often touchy)
what do you do?

i give my standard answer
then hesitantly ask him in return.

i'm not into anything at the moment,
but things are just starting to come together for me.
i was homeless for a few years,
but now i have a roof over my head.

we come to the corner of telegraph & dwight
where we are to part ways.
i'm headed in this direction now.
i'm glad to hear that things
are starting to look up for you.

thank you.
what was your name again?

camille.
in case i don't see you,
happy easter.

i extend my arm out for a handshake
and receive
a hug.

made my night

knowing that i started an excellent tradition...

11:45 PM rendell: caaamillleee i just wanted to tell u that our core affirmations that we did when i was a 2nd yr lives on!
lol we've been affirming someone at the end of every core meeting :)

RTs @SaulWilliams

retweeting...

Morning Mantra: To manifest your dreams before you manifest your fears. To Navigate beyond the treachery of self despair.

To find the balance between all you sense and all you see. To find the patience and the strength it takes to let it be.

To stand amongst the crowd and have the strength to hold your own. To throw away the pen and pad and simply BE the poem.

the reprise










this is a city and a people due for and deserving of
renaissance, peace, and justice

we did good

not intending to be conceited or anything, but wanted to share this convo that frances & i had with one of our freshman (when we were seniors):

awww you guys are awesome

hahaha, yah...we know

no seriously, your class is our favorite class!
josh, eugene, and i always talk about how it was
when you all were around and
how we're gonna be like you when we're seniors.


=)

the decisive moment

there is nothing in this world that does not have a decisive moment


thanks for reminding me about this concept earlier this week kevin! it worked out well because i know that other photo-a-day companions are starting to realize that moments to get that perf shot are incredibly fleeting.

in photography class, we saw hundreds of slides from many of the masters. one of them was henri cartier-bresson, a pioneer of street photography and master of candid portraits. not only did he create an inspiring body of photographic work, but he also gracefully articulated this concept of the decisive moment in photography:
"There is a creative fraction of a second when you are taking a picture. Your eye must see a composition or an expression that life itself offers you, and you must know with intuition when to click the camera. That is the moment the photographer is creative. Oop! The Moment! Once you miss it, it is gone forever."
isn't that crazy to wrap your head around? one solitary instance when elements of the world come together in a stunning way that can be immortalized through photography or otherwise reduced to memory. i love the potential to seize the decisive moment, but in attempting to do so there are so many more chances i frustratedly miss out on. such is photography...and life. it is worth it to keep trying for those moments.

one more quote from hcb...
"To take a photograph is to align the head, the eye and the heart. It's a way of life."
randomly a few weeks back some guy sitting next to me on bart between west oakland and city center said something similar about the mind and the heart needing to be the best of friends. my mind has known where i want to be for a while. it's just my heart hasn't quite caught up to speed. or maybe it's the other way around?

i still dream...

everyday and every night. and i don't think they're false hopes.
i think they're future realities.

kinabukasan revisited

The future is for hoping, and we want it.
If we want it, we can have it.
If we can have it, it is all.
If it is all, it is worth fighting for.
This is the way we face the coming day.
This is the way we stand in the sunset
And gawk at the sun, needing no time
For mourning in our march into the morning.
~Carlos Bulosan