if i know one thing right now, it is this: life has never been more unpredictable than at this moment. and it's not that i have no idea what i want to do with my life or that i don't have a plan. i actually have a fairly decent idea of what i want in the long-run. it's what can happen day-to-day until the long-run that makes life now so crazy.that was me early june 07: back from the graduation parties in san diego, berkeley life boxed up in the garage, days in the u.s. numbered, wondering how the hell i was gonna pack for a summer out of this country. more than that, i was just so damn eager to change up my rhythm & get a new perspective. with a year passed since then, i happily see most of the dreams i had in mind fulfilled. and the few that weren't...well, i guess the events of this year changed me, and thus changed my mind. or maybe more appropriately...changed my heart. what felt right a year ago, suited me a year ago. me a year ago: high off possibilities and unable to even imagine what experiences the next month would bring. me today feels overwhelming drawn to chill moments, subtle charm, and certainty (not to say my adventurous, wanderlust days are over).
when i thought i didn't get into this volunteer program, i bought a roundtrip ticket to san diego for christine's wedding. roundtrip...a cycle, a circle, coming and going the same way. but fate twists and it seems for now i'm over with cycles: academic, emotional, or what not. for now, i don't have any set routes, any commitments, any routines.
after exchanging my roundtrip ticket, here i am with only a one way ticket to nyc. i will definitely be back, just not necessarily the same way i left.
different phase in life
different expectations
different wants
and i'm glad
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